Goodies & Baddies (Part 1)

A few years ago my soldiers and I engaged General Public in Greenwich Market.  Whilst studying my stall's table top battle, a young boy asked me 'which side are the goodies?'

As a boy I remember asking my dad why the Germans wanted to be the baddies and why they didn't want to be on the goodies side just like me, my friends, all the Americans and the British (US WWII films were my cultural staple).   I think he answered 'I don't know' or 'because' - he was a good dad but not very philosophical.

I asked the boy in Greenwich 'which country do you come from?' 'England' he said, and so I pointed out the British Army and said he would probably decide that they were the goodies.  Then I told him I lived in France and I thought the French side were the goodies - I was being a provocateur my nationalist inclinations are unthinkingly British.  We discussed our relative goody/baddy positions until finally his mother announced that the French were the baddies and the British were the goodies and they had to move on.

My enemies, the Mega Corp Toys from movies and TV have their wars between good and evil, dark and light, Jedi vs Darkside, Transformer vs Deceptacon - heros are corruptible and can turn to the dark side but the two sides remain clearly opposed, good vs bad.

History also gives us goodies and baddies but who the goodies and baddies are depends on which side we're allied to or where we live.

My dad could have answered my question saying it's a bit like football ... some people support Sunderland others support Newcastle each thinking their chosen team are the goodies. You're either 'red n white' or 'black n white' in North East England unless you were bored by football and when forced to decide chose Arsenal because it had a cannon on the badge.

Goodies and Baddies - to be continued!

In the meantime checkout the French Light Infantry Circa 1812 part of my Borodino series... Goodies? Baddies? Available as Walkerloo PDF Print-Fantry on WargameVault.

"INDEPENDENT* NEWS FROM THE FRONT"

*Upon request from the independent production company I supplied soldier pictures and a statement for the making of this report. I also shared schools with the reporter/presenter for two years in the 1980's.

WAR&PEACE, christopher.

In February 2012 I was approached by the editor of a children's book publisher from Moscow.  Following negotiation by April I was very excited and ready to sign* a treaty for the production of a new toy soldier army with the publisher.

The treaty gave the publisher the exclusive rights to produce and sell toy soldiers made from my Waterloo inspired pictures throughout Russia, Ukraine, Belarus and Kazakhstan.  It also contained a commissioning agreement for me to make a new series of pictures based on the 'Great Patriotic War of 1812' sic. which they envisaged would also soon become a brand new toy soldier army on sale in Russia.

In the agreement I surrendered the local strategic control of this new eastern toy soldier force but I was to be acknowledged as its creator and maintain control of my picture making process i.e. decide the poses and choose the historic units for the paintings that would become the new army.



The initial plan was to have the army made in Latvia and the first part of it, a second edition of my Waterloo inspired pictures, ready to advance East by June 2012, exactly 200 years after Napoleon moved east on his Russian campaign of 1812.  Although unconfirmed this initial force was to be about 600,000 toy soldiers strong, which is on a par with the 'numbers' of Napoleons 1812 invasion force.  Circumstantial resonance sustains and enthuses my picture making.  A cool promotional video was released by the Russian publishers in May showing my original toy soldiers in pretend play action.  Although no reference is made to my real enemy it does show my toy soldiers in action.

The new Borodino inspired pictures were to be ready in time for the Bicentennial commemoration of the battle, which was the terrible climax of Napoleons campaign.  The schedule was tight but my commitment to the production of the new paintings was total. Working all the hours I could the new pictures approached readiness by the end of July 2012.  Alas military campaigns in Russia are notoriously difficult.  The first toy soldier army was produced according to plan but there are 'issues' that have postponed the production of the new army, although the new paintings are ready :



As well as their own website, this 2nd edition of the Waterloo inspired toy soldiers are right now fighting it out with the Mega Corp toys on the high-streets of Russia.  However to date it is proving difficult to re-enforce their position with the new Borodino inspired toy soldiers.

But there is hope for re-enforcement!  The first Borodino Walkerloo Print-fantry units are now available to buy, download and DIY make up; at WargameVault ; and soon-ish I hope on www.Walkerloo.com.



I urge you to support my campaign and purchase the pictures for yourself.  Make them up into beautiful massed armies of paper soldiers and take the fight to the floors!


*(The signing was captured on digital video for posteriority. Happenstance had 2 Swiss couch surfing journalist students staying with us that weekend - I invited them to make an impromptu press conference after I signed the agreement - they were a little bewildered but decided on a few questions, a link to the film will be up next week, don't get excited, it is what it is... a video document of a document signing...)

***SPECIAL INTELLIGENCE NOTICE***.   

The Plastic Mega Corp Toys that are the sworn enemy have once again consolidated their command.  In Nov 2012 Disney aquired the rights to the StarWars cultural commodity and in doing so extended it's influence over global mythology deepening it's controlling reach into the world’s popular escapist imagination and the toys that embody it.  But my secret intelligence has revealed a 'Point Faible'.  In the tongue of the enemy 'An analysis of the plans provided by Princess Leia has demonstrated a weakness in the battle station.'  I am now developing a strategy that will endeavour to exploit this weakness. For further info on the enemies consolidation: Bloomberg; Yahoo; and Mr.Lucas interview.

 ***NOTICE END***  

The Duel i

I've been sick.  When I'm sick I'm only good for lying down and watching films.  To feel useful in my convalescence (it was only three days) I watched movies I could consider 'intel.' for Battle of Walkerloo.

I watched 'The Duelists'. It's the second time I've seen this film. I love it.  It looks great, the story is tight and the themes nebulous (I define this word to mean like a nebula, big!).  Every shot seems to count.  It's insightful to see convincing characters in life/death situations wearing Napoleonic costume.  

I watched 'War and Peace', the seven hour, Sergei Bondarchuk version.  There is a spectacular ballroom scene of the heroine's first dance... and then there are the battles.  In the '90s I listened to the BBC radio version whilst painting houses for my disco money.  I remember painting an endless stair banister with stinky, sticky white gloss on a winter afternoon in Fulham whilst listening to the BBC's Pavlograd Hussars charge at Schongrabern.  When I painted the soldiers for Walkerloo I listened to the play again.  I've just got hold of the full audio-book version of Tolstoy's story read by Alexander Scourby. I plan to listen to it whilst painting some new soldiers for a new front in the Battle of Walkerloo....

I watched StarWars I,II,III and IV.  In 1977 I saw Star Wars (IV) at the cinema, I was 5.  I remember being cold waiting in the queue - you always queued for ages, in the cold, for the cinema in '70s Sunderland.
I remember drawing a picture afterward of a corridor battle just like the first scene in the film.  I thought guns that shot visible laser streaks were great for pictures... although they seemed less effective to fight with than machine guns.

As a child, my battle pictures - the only pictures I drew -  were 'action' pictures.  The composition came to life in the deployment of the elements.  They were an unfolding narrative, that could flip on a heroic act or cataclysmic incident.  Explosions and gun smoke brought the elements to life and death.  If I looked at them again it was to re-envisage the action and recount the incidents with my friends.  At some point, before the scribble Armageddon that always completed a picture, I began to freeze the 'state' of a picture at a point of high drama to share the excitement with friends.



At comprehensive school toys, the other things I used to create fantasy narratives, were made pariah but pictures could still offer a safe place to play out a fantasy action. I think these pictures come from me age 11 right at 'the end of toys'.

Watching the Star Wars movies in sequence I noticed the evolution of controlling power in George Lucas' narrative.  From self disciplined peace keeping knights, to the industrial robots of commerce, to the cloned armies of the empire led by desirous persuasion finally defeated by revolutionary freedom fighters and the re-institution of chivalry?  The first time I saw a StarWars figure was on a sunday morning after church.  I had new neighbours, they had lots of new toys and a 'play room'.

Starwars didn't edge out my war toys but it was a powerful new narrative element combining cool armoured costumes, aerial battles and sword fighting.  Star Wars has chicken, beef and pork with chewing gum, ice cream, crisps, chocolate and pop corn - that's why it tastes so good.  In the revistionist West, post Vietnam America I can see the attractive vision of a war toy clean of historical reference.  A toy that is above historical stains and the insinuation of nationalist propaganda and with that neutrality the potential for an international best seller!

There was a recent StarWars battle fought off the big screen. 'LucasFilm' challenged Andrew Ainsworth over the rights to make and sell the StormTrooper costumes the designer had originally made as props for the movie.  This off screen battle highlights the nature of a film like Star Wars.  It has become a global multidimensional cultural object, a movie-toy-videogame-sodapop-schoolyard-in-your-head-in-my-head-in-our-dreams kind of thing.  As well as a creative studio, Star Wars, like Disney, has an imperial bureaucracy enforcing it's position in reality.  The vast armies of cloned plastic toys that spew forth are in reality foot soldiers of these Imperial bureaucracies and the natural enemy of my romantic historical ethical toy soldiers and that's why my soldiers fight to set imagination free!

... ...But what if I was approached by a publisher, a profitable business, an independent bureaucracy, who announced they could make hundreds of thousands of my toy soldiers and best yet deploy them for action in floor filling displays in toy shops... and even pay me some money to make more original paintings... would that be beastly of me?

Corporate Beasts

Although they are very gorgeous, at the moment, I don't sell all that many toy soldiers. Walkerloo has never made a profit. I beg, borrow and manual labour for money to pay the monthly re-payments for the loan I took out to construct my toy soldier army. This makes Walkerloo a bad business and/or me a bad businessman.



But Walkerloo isn't really a business*, I declared it a real pretend war, that's the kind of war toy soldiers are best suited to fight and thats the kind of thing that makes sense to me.  The Battle of Walkerloo feeds my existential hunger.  As far as I know my enemy is still unaware of this real pretend war. I could conclude from this that my efforts are ineffectual. But I take heart from the fact that after more than two years of intermittent pretend aggressive action against the infinite beast that is my enemy, that is all the TV and Movie related mega corp toys, I am still able to stage operations and even develop new forces in the Good Fight!

'Military Regiments', 'Trade Unions'  or 'Business Corporations' are compound things - I imagine them as beasts with motivations, appetites and abilities. I imagine myTHself a beast doing battle with beasts.

'Google-Panto-Horses - Mythic Corporate Beasts no001' and 'Christopher-Walker-alias-myTHself-Christopher-Walkerloo-Pretending-To-Be-A-Soldier-In-The-Production-Of-His-Real-Toy-Soldier-Army no001' are part of the Walkerloo new wave introduced with the Chinese Miners last month. They join the ranks of the Walkerloo MiY Print-fantry available for pdf download at Wargames Vault.  Get them now, make them up and join the war!

Mythic Corporate Beasts 001 'GOOGLE-PANTO-HORSES' (link to buy pdf)
I've painted 4 different versions of the Google-Panto-Horse mythic corporate beast. But I imagine there are googols of them grazing 'freely' on internet content. A real panto horse usually has two people inside the costume -  Sergey Brin & Larry Page, the Google founders, could be inside a Google-Panto-Horse.   I think Larry Page would be at the front - a google-panto-horse would then be a 'portrait' of the two google founders.  Under harness googols of Google-Panto-Horses would deliver googols of Google-Panto-HorsePower, but this horse power would be dependent on their ability to graze on vast quantities of 'freely' accessible internet content.  I recently came across this short film on Youtube about Google...  since Blogger was bought up by google I am of course writing from with in right now...




Mythic man-beast myTHself 001. CHRISTOPHER-WALKER-alias-MYthSELF-CHRISTOPHER-WALKERLOO-PRETENDING-TO-BE-A-SOLDIER-IN-THE-PRODUCTION-OF-HIS-REAL-TOY-SOLDIER-ARMY. (available as .pdf next week)
In the creation of my real toy soldier army I pretended to be a soldier commanding, advancing, charging shooting and being shot.  As a boy I would spend hours doing this both with friends or alone in my back garden.  In making my toy soldier army I asked Laura Camera Wife to photograph me pretending to be a soldier and each Walkerloo toy soldier comes from one of these photos.  I returned to these photos to make these MiY printfantry sheets.  I am a realist romantic and in the good fight that is the Battle of Walkerloo I must deploy ridiculous tactics because a frontal assault would be suicidal.

Christopher Walkerloos do battle with Google-Panto-Horses over my keyboard in a grotto.   '... England and St.George, a bin for a horse!!' 


I had thought there was a quote about being aware not to become a beast when fighting a beast, or that to fight a beast you have to become a beast.  That's probably from a movie, but after searching on line I did find 'He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster...' which is translated from Friedrich Nietzsche's 'Beyond Good and Evil'...  but I prefer 'beast' to 'monster'.

*due to the nature of the loan covenant and the leverage afforded to Walkerloo as a business the Walkerloo business must be maintained until the loan is repaid. Do not allow this identity to restrict your interpretation of the Battle of Walkerloo. I never have, in fact the moment I signed the forms for the loan and the bank manager handed me the first cheque I told him how when I was a boy as soon as I saved sufficient funds I would go out and spend it on toy soldiers and that that was exactly what I was going to do with the money he had just made available to me, he said nervously 'mais ce n'est pas le meme chois!'... but it was just the same.


WALKERLOO MOVIE UPDATE.  Various Walkerloo film projects have entered a suspension this kind of cultural object is particularly prone too.  They are stuck in a thick editorial and production mud just behind the front lines but it is hoped that they shall one day soon be made to come to bear!

Miner Diversion! Chinese Miners Marching My dad's Old Pit Banner

100 years ago there were more than 200,000 coal miners working in North East England. On the 24th of November 1910 a miner aged 14 was killed in Usworth Colliery. His name was John Walker, he was my grandfathers brother, my great uncle John.

All the TV and Movie action toys are made in China. The toy factories are powered by electricity made from burning coal. The coal is dug by coal miners who have no trade unions. Many of my family were coal miners in North East England. My dad was a coal miner at Usworth colliery from 1955-1970 (aged 15 to 29). The miners of each pit organised into unions to win better conditions in their hazardous work. Each union had a 'pit banner'. 'From the middle of the nineteenth century the banners were used to unify and rally the communities in the coalfield... Banners are the miners' battle standards, proclaiming graphic messages of hope and calls for social justice which record more vividly than any other art form the history of the struggle for working-class rights.' Quotes taken from the foreword and cover note of the book 'Banners of the Durham Coalfield' by Norman Emery, 1998.

All of the coal mines in North East England are now closed. The banners are kept in museums and social clubs associated with the pit communities.

In a TV news report on a mining disaster in China I saw a miners wife demand improved working conditions for her husband and his comrades. I thought about her plight and the plight of my ancestors. I had just lost my father from an industrial cancer resulting from asbestos exposure in a tyre factory, the job he'd done since leaving the pit. He had two years of retirement before the cancer began to kill him. Some of the money which enabled me to construct my toy soldier army came from him. As it carries my name, 'The Battle Of Walkerloo' also carries his name, and that of my great uncle John.

I've decided 'MiY (Make it Yourself) Walkerloo Chinese Miners Marching With Usworth Colliery Banner' model is an essential new part of the 'The Battle of Walkerloo'. It marks the opening of a new and surprise front in my real pretend war. The model is available as a PDF document for money here (so I can live) and for free here (because it's better than nothing). Download it! Make it up! March it up and down!

Pretend all miners have trade unions. Pretend all toy factory workers have trade unions. Pretend the toys you buy for christmas are made by these pretend workers. Paper soldiers.... engines for social change or silly toys playing a real pretend war. Romantic, Ethical, Escapist toy soldiers at war with the mega corp toys The Battle of Walkerloo. This is a message from WIP. Walkerloo Information and Propaganda. Tally-Ho!

note. In the model the Chinese miners wear work cloths but at events, miners would not normally march with the banners in their work cloths. The front of the Usworth Colliery banner depicts Kier Hardy a key character in UK socialism. The models I've made up show the back of the banner facing forward, it proclaims 'Workers of the world unite you have nothing to loose but your chains, you have a world to win'.

I made Gouache paintings of Usworth Pit banner from images found on the 'Washington Banner Groups' web site and photo's Laura Camera Wife  took of me in the back garden.

Historic facts about mining came from the awesome Durham Mining Museum archive/website. Thanks.

Coming Soon: Walkerloo Toy Soldiers Story

Last summer's blockbuster movie was Toy Story 3. The result was a toy invasion the like of which has never been seen before. According to Panjiva shipments of Toy Story 'stuff' to the US were 4 times greater than their nearest rival. The 'toy story' was similar all over Europe...

This summer WiP (Walkerloo information & Propaganda) present a film by myTHself and Laura Camera Wife telling just a small piece of that toy story... .. Walkerloo Toy Soldier Story. Coming soon.